The Fading Dusk
by Marien Verity Reed
Summary: Hisoka has been alive for way too long, and every day is a constant struggle to keep everything about her buried in the past. But not all secrets can be hidden forever, as a letter beckons her to join a group of similar people and reunite with an old friend—if you can call a foul-mouthed, religious sociopath a friend; so maybe 'friend' is not the right word. AU.
1. The Fading Dusk

Ignore this part if you haven't read Himitsu no Yoake (my oldest story on here that really you don't need to read.). This is not a sequel or the resolution some of you wanted. It's an entire retelling of Himitsu no Yoake using the same character, and pairing her up with Hidan, but she now has more flare and a whole different background, since honestly I didn't really have one before. It's actually been _years_ since I wrote that story, and I've been thinking about it since I finished it. Actually, I didn't, but then started to after seeing so many people favorite and review it. Honestly, it wasn't that great given my writing experience at the time, but people still liked it. So, this story is whole heartedly dedicated to those readers who I really hope read this one.

Now this part is for everyone! Just so there's no confusion, this is an alternate universe since I like taking the characters out of the source material and seeing them in a new way. Also because I'm lazy, but we don't talk about that. I've written the first three chapters at once so if I get any questions or reviews then I won't know about them until chapter four. I really hope I do get reviews since they truly do help whether you believe that or not. Like I said, reviews are the entire reason I've come back and wrote this story. Enjoy!

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London was an unforgivable and miserable place. I never realized it from behind large windows and among satin sheets. It always seemed to shine with brilliant light around my old house that was now on the auctioneer's block, but I knew I could survive out here compared to the darkness that had lurked inside that place. However, that's not what led me to chance the streets, and I had to remember that otherwise I'd hate myself for choosing this path.

My stomach grumbled and my legs threatened to give out. I stumbled over an erect brick and cursed whoever built this street. I decided to try my luck off the main road. It felt like I'd been walking all my life, but really it's been, what? Three, four days at least, and it still hadn't stopped raining.

Sleet clung to my burgundy dress and pulled me down with each trudge through the thick, wet earth. I had since lost my shoes, having only realized they were missing when the bitter cold stung the soles of my feet like icicles. The warmth of the dress had been welcoming at first, but all heat had been sucked dry by the freezing elements. I thought to take it off as I stopped for a moment, but a fire caught my attention like a beacon in the darkness.

The alleyway was wide and the overhangs from the surrounding buildings provided a little shelter. The rain pounded on the tin above the trashcan filled with burning newspaper. I didn't even care about how it was started, and the area seemed abandoned enough that I let my worries slip away. My palms were badly shaking, as I lifted them to the flames, and then rubbed my arms hoping to transfer the warmth. This damnable dress was so soaked through that it instantly chilled my hands. I wouldn't have the hunger to worry about anymore if I didn't take it off.

With only my petticoat and a white corset to shield me, I rolled up the dress and made a makeshift pillow out of it. I laid down on the concrete trying different angles in a vain attempt at comfort.

Maybe I would have been better off at the orphanage, I thought while staring at the smoky sky from under the awning. The rain was starting to clear, and there was a chance I could move on soon. However, the fire was so warm, and I was much too exhausted for even more traveling. A short nap would do me some good.

A kick to my already aching stomach arose me from my restless slumber, and I swore I was more tired than before. I grabbed the assaulting boot, which made a man gasp and call to someone in the distance.

"This one's still alive!" He shouted, speaking in a rough and scratchy accent. "Boyo! She can't be more than fifteen or sixteen I recken." His English was passable though that damn southern accent was annoying as hell. "Pretty lil' thin' too. What you think, Jack?"

I groggily looked up at the chatting men, letting go of the accent-heavy's boot. The man didn't stand up straight due to an obvious back problem, and his face was all wrinkled with both age and scars. Dirt covered just about every part of him from his untamed, dark hair to his ratty boots that were a size too big. His clothes could pass him for a sailor or a lighthouse keeper, but his colorless eyes were cruel.

"Yeah, young's right. Maybe we can sell her for a few pounds if she ain't selling already," said the second man. He scratched his dirty blonde goatee and stared at me with a hard look that reminded me of the callous bankers who seized my childhood home. He reached out to my face with dirty fingers and sallow nails, but I swatted him away and returned his look. "Tis one ain't broke yet. Have at her boyo."

The other man grinned wickedly as he made a grab for me, but scurried on the ground and scooted away from him. My breath came out in heavy bursts, as I scrambled to my scabbed feet and tried to run away.

"Now Miss, where you going to run off to?" Jack asked, blocking my escape.

His partner grabbed me from behind, and I screamed for him to let go. Just then, it happened and the man released me though his face looked bewildered and uncertain.

"Markus, what is the meaning of tis?" Jack's face reddened, as his jaw tightened and brows furrowed so sharp they merged together.

"I don' know man. Somethin' just don' feel right. We should—we should leave this one alon'," Markus said, his voice unsteady and tears looked like they could spring from his eyes at any minute.

"You damn rat! When did you go all soft, ey? Fine, I'll do tis myself."

Jack made a grab for me, but I slipped away and darted to the other end of the alley. He marched at me like an angry bull, but he was too fat and slow. His overcoat weighed him down, and his pointed shoes made him trip over the poorly laid foundation.

"Get away from me!"

I picked up a nearby wrench and swung it at the man. Not my smartest move since he dodged out of the way, and then tackled me to the ground. He held my body down by sitting on my waist with his legs to either side, and he grabbed my flailing wrists though he struggled to put them both in one hand. I screamed for anyone to help, but the streets were empty and the lights didn't reach this far. Tears streamed down my face, and my breath hitched in my throat.

Suddenly, he stopped and reached into his coat. Even with my arms free, the man was too heavy for me to move, but I stopped struggling when I caught the glint of steel in his hand. He loaded the gun with copper bullets and then pulled back the hammer. I closed my eyes, praying for it to be over quickly, but when the sound of the shot was fired, I realized that the bullet hadn't been meant for me. I felt something warm on my face, and the pressure on my body was gone. I opened my eyes to see the man slumped to the side with blood oozing from the bullet wound to the side of his head. His finger was still coiled around the trigger.

"Jack!" Markus shrieked, breaking free of the spell that'd clouded his thoughts. He gave me a fearful expression. "You don' killed him! Witch!"

That name; I couldn't escape from it. I flinched and tears stung at my eyes, but I couldn't get emotional now. I had to do something; there was no time to worry about a man's suicide. That's what I told myself.

"I'm not a witch! I don't know why he did it. But listen," I said, holding out my hands in what I guess could be a calming manner. I hoped anyway. "I need food. Maybe shelter. Do you know anywhere?"

Markus sneered at me, and at first I thought he might start with the names again. Instead, he eyed the rolled up dress on the ground. He nodded to it.

"What that made of?"

I picked it up and scraped off as much sleet as I could. I handed it to the man, and he snatched it so quick that I winced and stepped back.

"Silk and cotton," I answered. "It's expensive."

I thought about how idiotic I had been not to sell the thing in the first place, but it was helping me out now so maybe I made the right choice.

"This be a good trade then," he mused, tucking the gown under his arm. "Keep headin' north. There be an iron gate and a hole where the weeds don' grow. Through there you'll find an ol' buildin'. As for food, here." Markus pulled out a small tin of crisps and handed them to me, though I knew they wouldn't last much longer. He nodded and then bent down to loot his friend.


	2. Guilt From the Coffin

Once I found the fence, I knew that something was wrong since there were two people standing guard by the opening. Behind them shone a light that must be from the building Markus mentioned. It didn't stretch all the way to the gate, and that would help me sneak by them. If I could do that then perhaps I could find a small spot to rest. Beyond that I didn't know.

I crouched and pressed my body against the decrepit building on the opposite side. This area wasn't lit up, and so I could cross with little to no problem. Now I needed a distraction. So, I searched around me and found a few pebbles, which I tossed as far as I could down the darkened street.

They questioned each other over the sound, but only one decided to check it out. The other leaned against the fence and slid his knife back in the holster at his thigh. He mumbled, complaining about guard duty and mouthing off at the people inside even though they couldn't hear him.

The snooping guard passed by me, and once he was out of sight, I quickly snuck to the other end of the street so that I could sneak up the side. I breathed silently as I placed my feet carefully so I didn't make a sound. I was so close to the guard that fears seized my actions, and my mind raced with every horrible thing that could happen to me if I was caught.

I saw the knife and thought it'd be a good idea to have some sort of weapon. It wouldn't be too hard since the guard was still muttering. There was a good chance that I could do this, and the idea was way too tempting.

Somehow, I managed to slide the knife free, and I clutched it tightly so it wouldn't fall. The moment of victory was short-lived when a light shone on me. The second guy had returned, and he came at me. His eyes held no malice, but I was petrified by the prospect of what would happen if they did.

He reached out, but I slashed him with the knife. Blood flew through the air and splattered to the ground. I narrowed my eyes at him, feeling confident now that I had a weapon. I didn't allow him much time to react as I pounced on him and stabbed him in the chest. Over and over again I drove the knife in any place I could. I only stopped when two hands grabbed both my arms, but the grasp was tender enough that I didn't feel threatened.

"He's fucking dead," the boy said in my ear.

The one I stole the knife from helped me up. He was close enough that I could see each feature now. He was older though only by a year or two. His skin almost matched his white hair that framed his face and stuck out on top. Though most fascinating about him were his unique and deep purple eyes. He seemed mildly interested that I was staring at him, but he soon broke my attention by snapping in my face.

"Not your first kill?" He asked, reaching to take the knife. I held it to my chest and stepped away from him.

"No, not really," I admitted. "But that doesn't make me a killer. I—I don't like it." His eyebrows quirked at that, and he smirked though I didn't know why.

He approached the dead body and dipped his fingers in the blood. He lowered his head, muttering a prayer, and drew something on the dead guy's forehead.

I hadn't realized how many times I stabbed the guy, and the sickness of what I'd done curled in my stomach. It was one thing to watch a guy kill himself, but a whole other thing when you directly ended his life. I turned away and vomited the crisps I had eaten until I gagged on nothing but spit. My stomach kept pressing out anything it could until I'd fallen to the ground in pain. I sniveled and coughed as snot mixed with the saliva on my lips.

"Hey bitch! Get your motherfucking ass off the damn ground and stop crying like a prissy little fucker."

Boy did he have quite the mouth on him, but I didn't listen to him. Well, until he yanked me off the ground by my waist and carried me through the gap. I kicked, but I was too weak to really fight back. I didn't know what he was going to do to me, but I guess I could count a small victory for getting to this point after everything.

The rain started after a flash of lightening, and I would have jumped if the guy weren't holding me so tightly. Though it happened to be a little comforting to be with someone during a thunderstorm, and I grabbed his arms glad that he probably thought I was still trying to escape.

A small building appeared in front of us that had once been a manager's office. Some chunks of the wood were missing, but most of the roof had stayed intact. There was no glass in the windows, but someone had tied up or nailed curtains in their place. No one guarded the ground floor nor was there a door. Either no one knew of this place or the guards at the fence were insanely good, which didn't exactly fill me with good feelings.

The voices from before grew louder, especially once we were inside and away from the deafening rain. He continued to carry me up the stairs and to the first floor, which answered a question I hadn't posed before now. We approached the light source that ended up being a whole ton of candles. Seriously, did these people raid a chandler's store? There were a few lanterns hanging from broken beams, which now made me wonder how the place hadn't burnt down yet.

"Is this to be a sacrifice?" Said a gentle voice.

A curvy woman, who actually seemed the oldest of the group, possibly in her twenties or thirties, had posed the question. A black velvet skirt hung at her hips, and the same material barely covered her chest. There was no need for imagination, as she wore nothing else underneath. Her hair was a similar white like the boy carrying me, but the two didn't look related. She had such unnatural red eyes that they were both frightening and alluring. Heck, she could be a Goddess and I'd believe her. Though maybe she was more akin to a demon.

"She killed Hideki," he explained, putting me down.

I felt a pit in my stomach, and I thought they were going to kill me in revenge. However, the woman looked pleased rather than angry, and she approached me.

"Impressive," she mused, placing a finger under my chin and moving my head in all directions. Any faster and I'd be dizzy. "Hideki was my best initiate. And yet this little thing managed to kill him." She smoothed back strands of my black hair and bent down to look at me. She captured my blue eyes in her glossy red ones. "Have you ever heard of Jashin, my child?" I shook my head. "Then it is fate that leads you here. But I'm sure you're hungry and tired, so feel free to join the others. Do not fear us, young one."

She turned away from me and sauntered to the circle and triangle on the ground, sitting in the middle. She held a skull in her hand, and I watched her red lips move as she spoke to it.

"Hey!" The boy from earlier shook me out of my trance and motioned me to follow him.

I wasn't entirely thrilled about sharing the night with an obviously crazy cult that seemed to worship the dead or something, but I had little other choice. I stuck close to the boy only realizing I didn't know his name until others spoke it.

"Hidan! Did she really take out Hideki?" Another boy called from his own weird symbol.

"Hell yeah!" Hidan called back. He acted like it had been him, but I wasn't complaining. I kind of wished it had been him, and then I wouldn't feel this huge guilt in my heart. "Yo, pipsqueak! Pay bloody attention or you'll fall into a hole. Now that'd be a fucking way to go."

In front of me was a narrow bridge, and if Hidan hadn't brought me out of my dark thoughts then I might have fallen. I followed him across the beam and into a vacant room. Aside from a slightly singed mattress there wasn't anything else, but nevertheless it brought me relief. I looked out the one window to see that the storm had cleared to leave a light drizzle, and the clouds had parted just enough to see the night sky and a tiny sliver of the moon. I sat on the bed and would have passed out if my hunger hadn't kept me awake.

"You look like a fucking stick. I'll go get you something," Hidan said, leaving the room.

Despite his foul language, this Hidan guy wasn't all that bad. He hadn't killed me so that equaled good in my book.

It's been a rough day, I thought as I stroked the tips of my hair that ended just above my breasts. I'd never known that such strange people live in this world, whether good or bad, but I couldn't imagine wanting to go back to the way things were before the streets and the orphanage. I didn't want my father to be alive or to ever see my mother again. So maybe everything worked out. I just needed to learn how to survive and make sure that killing wasn't going to be my main source of living.


	3. Miss Mysterious May I

"Did you miss me?"

I jumped at the sound of his voice, which made him laugh. He'd been so loud before that I was surprised I hadn't heard him. Though, I did kind of miss him now that he mentioned it, but I wasn't going to say that out loud.

"Not in the least," I joked, smiling.

Hidan placed a plate of meat in front of me, and never had food looked so delicious. My mouth salivated as I chewed into the food, and my stomach ached with longing. I shoveled the food into my mouth, which promoted intense coughing and tears to leak from my eyes. Hidan handed me a small cup of water, and shook his head at my pathetic display. I admit it hadn't been a great idea, and I'd have to be more careful next time. Once done I thought of going to sleep, but Hidan started talking out of no provocation.

"So. What's your name?" He asked.

I didn't want to give it even though I knew his, and I didn't have enough energy to make one up. He seemed to understand as he moved on.

"Geez, fine Miss Mysterious," he mocked, smirking. "Will you tell me what's around your neck then?"

My fingers ghosted over the black choker out of habit, and I thought about telling him. "Only if you tell me about yours," I said, pointing to the necklace.

"Deal," he said, beaming with pride. "This is the symbol of Jashin, and all Jashinists wear it. Jashin expects us to bring nothing short of absolute destruction and death."

I smiled while he explained, amazed at how devoted he was despite what his religion stood for. I never really thought about my own beliefs, and never had time with everything going on. It was nice to listen to someone speak so passionately about something, anything, and Hidan's voice was rather soothing.

"M! Don't you dare fall asleep yet! You have to fucking tell me about that thing."

"M?" I asked, leaning my cheek against my fist and my elbow on my knee.

"Stands for mysterious, Miss M," he teased. I rolled my eyes, but at least it sounded kind of cool. "Stop stalling. I want to know right fucking now."

"Alright, alright," I said, hands up in defense and then used them to take off the choker.

My neck felt uncomfortably exposed and cold without the velvet against it, and I absently covered the space with my hand, trying to rub the feeling away.

"Get your hand out of the bloody way. I can't fucking see you twat." Hidan grabbed my hand and leaned closer to see the horizontal scar across my neck. "Damn," he breathed, the air creating tiny bumps on my skin. "How'd you get it?" He asked, genuine curiosity taking over his expression.

He sure was a chatty one, and I felt a little bad that I didn't want to share as much as him. I shook my head and tied the choker back in place, having done it so many times that I didn't need a mirror.

"Shit, you're really taking this mysterious thing seriously," he said, sighing and sitting back.

"I don't want to talk about some things," I explained though didn't know why. It's not like I was wrong or anything.

"I get it. Don't freak out, princess."

His voice was serious, but a smirk tugged at the corner of his mouth with his last word. I glared at him, but I was too exhausted to keep up the tiny bit of annoyance. I leaned against the wall, and fought to keep my head from falling as I stared out the window. The rain had ceased completely, and the moon dipped lower in the sky. I let my tiredness overwhelm me and settled down on the mattress.

There were no dreams to accompany my sleep, and I was awoken much too early. The sun blinded me as I opened my eyes, but a body quickly blocked it out. I refocused to see Hidan sitting up and shirtless. His chest was smooth and muscles tight in his abdomen. My face felt hotter than before, but I blamed the sun.

He reached towards me, but grabbed his shirt that had been draped over my bare shoulders. I won't lie that I was a bit disappointed when he tugged it over his head. He stood up, the floorboards creaking underneath, and stretched his arms and neck. A few bones cracked, which made me wince even though I knew they weren't broken.

"Feeling any better?" He asked, his eyes following my movements.

I felt a bit uncomfortable with being watched, but I stood up and stretched out my muscles though made sure not to make any horrendous cracking noise. I shivered in my dry though damp clothes, and wished I had a pair I could change into.

"Yeah, thanks."

He rolled his eyes, and I second-guessed whether I had missed something.

"I don't really give a shit. Just making sure you won't fall on your ass anytime soon."

"Oh," I said, shrugging since it made sense. "I don't think you need to worry. Though if I do, just leave me on my ass."

Hidan chuckled and bumped my shoulder with his. "You're not that bad of a bitch." His version of a compliment, I thought.

He started to mess with his hair, combing it with his fingers and letting it cascade around his face. I did the same with mine, though I didn't do more than break up the knots. I thought of something as I watched Hidan and approached him. He noticed, of course, and eyed me warily. Not sure why since there wasn't much I could really do in my position.

"Have you ever worn your hair different?" I asked.

"Excuse me? Oh, I didn't realize you were the fucking hair detective," he said, shaking his head at me. "But to answer your idiotic question, yes. Sometimes I slick it back or some shit like that."

I wanted to see that, and without any regard for personal space, I pushed his hair away from his face and held it in the position he described. His eyes widened at my forwardness, but he didn't push me away like I would have thought. Instead, he replaced my hands and slicked back his hair with the grease already in it.

"It looks cool like that," I said, grinning.

"Okay, miss fashion commissioner," he joked. "You're really fucking weird."

He smiled and rubbed the top of my head for a short moment. His hand felt nice, and my muscles relaxed. I'd never had this sort of interaction. I might become addicted to it if I stayed long enough.

"So, where to next?" I asked, following him out of the room.

"Outside," he answered.

We headed back through the house. Most of the people from last night were gone though I suspected they'd be back later. The last room was the only one with a door, but the hinge and lock were broken. I squinted to see the older woman asleep on the floorboards and surrounded by that symbol. Her lacy gown spread out around her. Candles were extinguished on either side of the room, but sunlight flooded in through the windows.

"Fucking pay attention!" Hidan snapped, knocking the back of my head with his palm. I yelped and flinched away from him. "Don't be so goddamn sensitive." Despite his words, he laughed and continued the walk outside.

The damp grass felt cool on my feet, and the moisture created a haze of mist. Visibility wasn't too bad though it did make distant shapes hazy and unrecognizable. My breath formed clouds, and I shivered from the cold. It didn't help that my clothes were ruined and provided little protection. I ended up walking closer to Hidan, trying to nab any heat that I could, and thankfully he either didn't notice or didn't care.

We stopped in a yard with debris that I couldn't recognize as anything. The sand was still soggy from last night, but it had hardened enough to walk on without sinking too deep. Weeds grew plenty and tall, leaning towards the rays of sunlight. Old factory buildings surrounded the area. The chimneys were blacked and shimmered a dull red from the rust. Windows were either bordered up with loose plywood or broken entirely. Mortar had fallen away and left gaping holes where bricks used to be.

I stopped in time to see the knife before I walked into it.

"You almost stabbed me!" I shouted in shock more than anger.

Hidan shrugged and waved the knife until I took it. I gave him a questioning look and glanced at the knife again.

"I want to see what you can do," he explained, pointing at a tree in the center of the yard. The bark was already marred with small cuts.

"Why?" I asked, genuinely curious and maybe a bit skeptical towards his motives.

"Because I don't believe a scrawny little shit like you knew what you were bloody doing yesterday."

I gaped at him. The knife slipped from my hand, but I hurried to catch it before it fell. The tip hovered just over the ground when I caught it. I heard Hidan exhale, and looked up to see him smiling. Although I felt pride in my chest, I was also annoyed about this situation and tried to hand him back the knife.

"I didn't!" I answered. "So there's nothing for me to prove."

He stepped back and nodded at the tree. "Come on, don't be a fucking pussy. Try to hit it. Humor me."

I didn't like the idea of being someone's entertainment, but I also didn't have the will to fight it. So, I lined up the shot from only a couple feet away, took a deep breath, and never let my eyes stray from the target. I recoiled my arm and then propelled the knife forward. A _thwack_ resonated in the air, and Hidan let out a 'wow' under his breath. The knife imbedded in the heart of the tree where there were no nicks.

"I was actually aiming a little higher," I admitted.

Hidan laughed and ruffled my hair again. He retrieved the knife and handed it back to me. I took the knife, rubbing my fingers over the tight leather grip, and admired the sleek, silvery metal of the blade. It wasn't a fancy knife or anything extraordinary, but it was still beautiful.

"Beginner's luck then," he said.

"I'm not a beginner. I was taught to throw knives a few years ago," I responded, shaking my head at his statement.

I spaced out at the memory, and frowned as I replayed the sequences in my head. A few seconds later, I reeled back when Hidan flicked my nose, and I covered my lower face so he didn't get the idea to do it again.

"You're fucking terrible at paying attention," he said, waving the knife in front of my face. "Easy way to get your dumb ass killed."


	4. Taken Chances

The silver trinket around my neck no longer shimmered under the sunlight, and rust clung to the triangle in the center of the circle. The decay only further reminded me that it'd been many years since I rested at the cultist building, and the scent of cherry blossoms and rice was so different from England.

Fresh dew shook from a tree outside the broken window of the partly demolished building, as a tiny, brown bird landed on a thin branch. Its narrow beak nudged underneath its patterned wing, and then tilted its head in my direction. My elbow knocked against the crumbling wall behind me, and the little bird flew away.

My muscles ached from sitting curled in an awkward position all night, but it couldn't be helped in such a tight space. The closet might as well be a jail cell, and the ceiling beams had rotted so bad that they had fallen at some point, creating the uncomfortable corner that I had nestled into last night. Shouts and the groaning of heavy machinery alerted me that it was time to leave unless I wanted to join the rubble.

I grabbed my bag that I had snatched two years ago after some student had abandoned it, and proceeded down the corridor to the crumbling stairs. Only that when I reached the end they were no longer there. I must have woken up too late. It was quite the length down, and what waited at the bottom was a pile of sharp rocks and concrete. Not the most ideal landing. I sighed and searched for another way down. When I turned back around, the handle of a crane appeared to be heading this way. It neared closer and closer until I was practically panicking at this point. My mind blanked even as I looked for a way out of this before I would be potentially killed.

The crane smashed into the building, sending shockwaves through the entire structure. My legs wobbled as the foundation trembled, and I leaped without even thinking about my destination. Luckily, I grabbed on to the tree that the bird had been on, and gripped with all my might on the bare branch. I gasped as the building crumbled behind me, and the crane arm backed up, passing mere inches behind my back. With a sigh, I climbed down the tree and sprinted out a gap in the fence.

I dusted off sand and dirt from my tattered and faded green hoodie, which had enough padding so nobody could tell that I had nothing else underneath. My bandaged feet tripped on a tear in my rough jeans, but I caught on to a lamppost. I could feel the callous soles of my feet on the verge of splitting open, and the blisters had gotten worse. Hopefully I could steal a pair of shoes today since the last pair I had broke during a fall yesterday. That'd teach me to look over a fence before I hopped it; damn stupid dogs.

Tokyo, Japan was loud and huge. I dreaded walking through the crowd of people headed to work or tourists who stopped in the middle of the sidewalk to take pictures. I frowned as I made the begrudging trek up the street and towards some outdoor racks. Most of this stuff was meant for tourists, and the prices showed. I felt a bit jealous that people could indeed afford to buy such things as sunglasses and shoes, but it's my own fault for choosing to live like this.

"See anything you like?" Asked the seller.

He fanned his bloated, red cheeks and peered down at me from behind thick shades. Even his ears were red from where the sides of his glasses had rubbed. The intense sunlight reflected off his baldhead, and he breathed heavily behind a bushy mustache. Sweat trickled down either side of his forehead, which he dabbed at with a used napkin. He didn't seem fit enough to chase me if my theft attempt failed, but I still wanted to avoid the unnecessary attention.

I kept telling myself that I knew better than this. I was being reckless by stealing in broad daylight, but the overwhelming crowd gave me some options. In any case, I needed to do this now.

"Um, maybe those," I said, quickly whirling around so that I knocked over the rack of shoes. "Ah! I'm so sorry!"

The seller bent down, worried about his merchandise, and I faked my attempt to help so that I could snatch a pair of sneakers. Unfortunately, the man noticed as soon as I grabbed them and then sprinted away.

"Thief! Get back here!" He shouted, motioning for someone to give chase.

I glanced over my shoulder to see a more athletic man behind me. He begged for me to stop. He'd be nuts if he thought I'd comply, but my feet screamed at me and hot pain seared through my leg. At this point, I didn't even know what kept me going.

People snapped at me as I shoved them aside, and I had to dodge out of the way of cars. My heart raced so hard that it felt like it would explode. I looked back again to see two cops this time. Now I was in some serious trouble, but my body refused to acknowledge that. It wanted to give out, but I pushed and pushed until it just outright refused to skirt out of the way of someone. I crashed into a man, but my impact didn't do much since I was much smaller than him. His hand reached around me, and for a moment, I actually felt safe to the point I clutched his shirt and prayed to anything holy that I'd live through this.

"Excuse me, but miss, I believe those aren't yours," said one of the officers, his voice soft though firm.

My appearance must be throwing him off, and I was thankful for that. Still, I only pressed the shoes closer to my chest and instinctively buried my face in the man's shirt.

"Are you a relative?" Asked the other officer, this one much more annoyed.

"She's my niece, actually. I'm very sorry for the trouble. We've only just met today," the man lied, weaving together quite an impressive story to convince the officers.

I'd have to remember this for another time, which I hoped would never happen. Again, I knew this was a bad idea, and I should've known better. I'm a much better thief when I'm not tired and aching.

"Take care, and keep an eye on her next time," said the officer, who nodded his head and walked off with his partner.

With the threat gone, I released my savior and finally took a look at him. His orange hair was unnaturally spiky and stiff with gel. A few strands fell to either side of his forehead, and strange, gray eyes looked back at me. Several piercings dotted his nose and along his ears. He must really hate magnets, and it must be terrible to go through security at an airport. However, they were really cool, and I wished I had a piercing.

Next to him stood a serious-looking woman with indigo hair and a paper flower clip holding it into a bun. The clip looked handmade, and I wanted one of those too. If I stayed around any longer I felt I might become overwhelmed by jealousy.

"Thank you," I said curtly, and then hurried past them before they could bombard me with questions. Also, I didn't want to be accountable for now owing the man something I probably couldn't give him.

"What was that about, Pein?" I heard the woman ask.

I couldn't hear the man's response, and neither did I want to.


	5. Goodbye My Darling, Life Begins

My feet thanked me for the shoes, but really I had that man to thank. He had paid for them even though he didn't know anything about me. I guess, thinking about it now, there had been a few people who'd taken pity on me. A worker at a restaurant had given me some leftovers after she caught me sifting through a dumpster. A few people had handed me coins when I had been desperate enough to ask for help. Other people in my situation had even allowed me to stay in their camps for a while, but I could never stay long despite the pleasant company.

I must've looked weird to these people, surely. My hair was stark white, and my eyes were a clear blue that almost blended into my white sclera. Even my skin was pale, and no amount of sunlight ever changed that. I couldn't tell if I was turning into a ghost or a corpse, especially with my thin waist and skinny arms.

I huddled my legs against my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees while I sat on a bench. People passed by without a single glance, and I remained largely ignored. Strangely enough, I longed for that man's protection. He'd been so comforting and warm, something I'd been missing for a long time. I sighed, annoyed with myself for dwelling on such things, and laid down on the uncomfortable bench.

When I awoke, the sun had dipped below the skyscrapers to create a sea of orange, pink, and blue in the sky. The stars were visible in the highest part of the sky. The crowds had thinned and only a few cars remained on the road. Multiple colored lights illuminated the city, and shop owners were outside sweeping before they closed.

A humid breeze hit my face, and my cheek stung from a small cut that dipped underneath my chin. My mind replayed the scene of a man with a knife in his hand. I had wandered into a bad part of town almost a week ago. I had made several hundred yen from a few odd jobs I had done, and the man had obviously followed me. My body shivered as I remember the fear, and the fierce words the man had said. He managed to slash my face, but I also reached out in hopes of grabbing his wrist. He had yanked out of my light grasp, but he was infected by my curse. I watched in horror as he slid the knife across his throat and dropped to his knees, gurgling on the blood that pooled from the wound. I'd been so paralyzed that I watched the life drain from his eyes; two orbs only alive with fright that stared back at me.

Tears prickled in the corner of my eyes, which I quickly blinked away if only to forget that terrible memory. I grabbed my bag and slid off the bench. My muscles ached worse than a few hours ago, and my neck felt like it was about to fall off my shoulders. The bandages around my feet didn't protect all of the scrapes and blisters, and even though I was happy to have shoes, it still rubbed painfully against the leather. I sucked in a breath, ignoring the pain, and walked further on.

In my jacket pocket was a crumbled up paper, which I pulled out to remind myself where I had to go. Osaka was my first destination. I'd been saving up for the past month so I could make this trip, and I finally had enough to make it there. I had to really work hard in order to actually get people to pay me, and even then I had to go without food and sometimes sleep for several days. It'd been less than savory work, but at least I kept my innocence at the sacrifice of my pride.

I stuffed the letter into my pocket and hurried to the _shinkansen_ train station. Quite a few people were buying tickets and passing through the gates. Most of these people were probably getting off work, but some looked like tourists headed to their next destination. I bought my tickets and headed through the first ticket gate. A guard eyed me suspiciously, but he was too busy checking rail passes to pay much more attention to me. A woman knocked me aside with her large luggage, and I scowled when she didn't even apologize. I dearly hoped she wasn't going the same way.

My destination was the _Tokaido Shinkansen_, which would be arriving in a few minutes. I ended up in a sprint, passing through the second gate with the supplement ticket, and headed up the escalator to the right platform. Once on the train, I searched for my seat and huddled close to the window that I was lucky to get.

Behind me were two male voices arguing. From the corner of my eye, I could see an auburn haired man push a bag in the compartment above their heads. The other man was out of sight, but his voice was loud enough for me to know he was there.

"Damn your stupid impatience. I didn't get any extra clay, un. And who knows when we'll be back to the city, hn," said the man behind me in a nasally voice. "Seriously, why did we have to leave so early, uhn?"

The other guy moved out of sight, presumably seated now. A few seconds later, the train jutted forward and the scenery outside the window blurred by. The _shinkansen_ was the cheapest option I could find for all this long distance travelling. If only I'd been smarter and hadn't flown in to Narita.

"Leader wants us back," the man responded shortly.

That was certainly a weird title: _ri-da_. They were part of some group, and I wondered what kind.

The loud one snorted, but at least his voice had lowered this time. "It's still your fault that I can't complete my art, un."

"That is not art," the other chided. "If it only lasts for a few seconds then it becomes forgettable. Art should stay within the mind and heart forever."

I winced at the static that suddenly ignited the air behind me. It almost felt like pure flames were radiating from one of them.

"Of course you'd say that, danna. You don't know the true meaning of art. It makes a bigger impression if it goes off with a bang. Art is an explosion."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

They kept going, and I huffed when I remembered that this was a two and a half hour ride.

"Hey, what was that for?"

I flinched as I felt a pair of eyes on me, and I glanced to the side to see two cobalt blue eyes staring at me with annoyance. I wasn't sure if that was left over from the argument or indeed directed at me.

"Huh?" I asked, not thinking like always. Though honestly, I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"That sigh. You were listening, weren't you, uhn?"

"Kind of hard not to," I automatically sniped.

He smirked and some of that fury died away. He slipped into the empty seat beside me, and his eyes didn't leave mine. It felt like he had captured them, as I couldn't bring myself to look away. He brushed away blonde strands that covered his left eye and lowered his head, those glossy irises studying me.

A fishnet tank poked out from behind a black shirt that was mostly covered by an unbuttoned, tan jacket. His jeans were almost as ripped as mine, but his were for aesthetic look than due to wear. His black boots nudged my sneaker, which I flinched away from though he either didn't notice or didn't find a reason to comment.

"Deidara, what are you doing?" The other man asked, only a trace of annoyance in his evenly toned voice.

"I think this is the girl, danna," he responded. Then he directed his question at me. "You're headed to Osaka, yeah?"

What? I fidgeted in my seat and picked at the strap on my bag, which I clutched harder to my chest. How did he know where I was headed? What did that mean? I asked myself these questions, nervousness catching in my throat and silencing me.

"Stop scaring the girl and get back here."

Deidara glowered at the back of the seat, but I wasn't sure if his companion could see it. He contemplated something though, and he looked back at me with a smile, though it hardly did anything for my already jittery nerves.

"My name's Deidara. And that's Sasori-danna," he said, reaching out a gloved hand. The fingers were missing from the glove to reveal a ring on his right hand.

"Don't tell her useless information," Sasori warned, though it didn't sound like he cared either way.

"You know I'm right though. This is the girl, un," he said, obviously proud in that fact. "You received a letter, right?"

I ended up nodding, thinking about the fact I had received a letter instead of wanting to answer his question. He grinned proudly, lowering his hand once he realized I wasn't going to shake it.

"Yep, I knew I was right."

"You've been asking every girl you thought would be the one," Sasori stated, probably bored with the same thing happening over and over again.

"Shut up, un," he barked back, though made sure he wasn't too loud for the other passengers to hear.

"Excuse me," my voice squeaked. Heat rose to my cheeks and ears, and I buried half my face behind my pack. "What are you talking about?"

Deidara looked back at me, smirking for some reason. So far he'd only smiled like that due to pride, but this one looked different.

"We've been trying to find this girl who our leader—"

"Deidara! Don't tell her when you don't know who she is," Sasori finally snapped, losing his patience, but aside from a little jolt in his voice, he remained calm.

Deidara appeared only mildly annoyed though, and he continued against his companion's warning. "How about this?" He began, more to assure Sasori. "What's your name?" He asked.

I already knew their names, and so I felt almost obligated to tell them mine. I don't remember the last time I used it. Most of the time I just made up a name. It was too dangerous if people, especially in the bad areas of the country, knew your real name. However, I felt like Deidara and Sasori had divulged their real names. So I didn't see a reason to remain anonymous.

"Hisoka," I answered. There was no reason to give my last name. "Is that the name of the person you're looking for?"

Deidara shrugged, but Sasori was the one to answer this time. "We don't know her name. Only what she's capable of," he said, sensing my question beforehand.

Panic quickly rose up, and I looked out the window as buildings and trees zoomed by. It would still be quite a while, but I didn't have a means to tell the time. I wished I could just stop this train and jump out. To someone else, being capable of something could be anything, but my mind immediately narrowed in on what I could personally do. I wasn't great at anything, just fucking up and having to metaphorically run from everything. One of those things being my horrible curse.

"So, what are you capable of, un?" Deidara whispered, closer to my ear than I expected.

My body jumped in surprise, and the top of my head smacked Deidara's chin. He reeled back, cursed under his breath, and rubbed his jaw. I groaned and massaged my sore head. Dude had one mighty jawline, because damn that freaking hurt.

"Serves you right," Sasori said from above the seats. It's like he knew something comical would happen, because he sat back down after a brief look at me.

"Are you okay?" I asked, still rubbing my head.

"Geez, what is your skull made out of, un?" He snapped, though there wasn't much bite in his words.

I narrowed my eyes at him, all sympathy gone. "Likewise. You have an iron jaw or something?" I pinched the skin between his earlobe and jaw, which made him flinch back.

"Ow! You trying to pick a fight?"

He flicked the center of my forehead, which I covered with my heads. I groaned at the new pain, but got him back by pinching his nose. We ended up flicking and pinching for half the ride until both of us were too sore to keep it up.

"I really hope you're not her. You're so damn annoying, un," Deidara said, but he seemed to be hiding a smirk.

I groaned and looked out the window again. "What's so special about this girl anyway?" I asked, sort of curious though not that interested.

"Truthfully, I don't know," Deidara said, and he sounded more relaxed.

He proved my assumption right when he leaned over the seat to view outside the window, our bodies only separated by a few inches of space. I didn't realize I felt comfortable, especially since it wasn't a common feeling.

"I thought you knew what she was capable of."

Deidara shrugged, our shoulders brushing this time, but neither of us moved. His eyes stayed glued to the window. "Yeah, but that doesn't mean she's special."

"Oh," I said before he continued.

"Apparently, she can change someone's motivation with a single touch. Sometimes it ends badly for the other person."

I shivered, knowing he was indeed talking about me. Either that or someone else had this problem, which wouldn't make me feel any better. He noticed my reaction, and I only realized then that we were so close.

"Scary," I mumbled, trying to play it off. I didn't see if he was convinced or not, and he didn't say anything.

"Not really. She can't control it, so it's relatively easy to avoid," he explained, retreating back into his seat. "So why are you going to Osaka?" He asked, changing the subject before I could comment.

I followed his movements and kept eye contact as I talked. I guess it's been a while since I had an actual conversation with someone, and I worried that I might be getting too comfortable speaking with Deidara.

"I'm meeting someone to take me to Koyasan," I explained, though I was early by a few days. I wanted to experience Osaka before meeting my supposed tour guide.

"You're headed to the shrine, uhn. Why?" He seemed suspicious, as if he was trying to confirm something. I think I knew what.

"Reasons. Where are you headed?" I asked.

He quirked an eyebrow and smiled. "What a coincidence," he began, but I cut him off.

"Same place?"

"Yes actually," he confirmed, only slightly irritated that I had interrupted.

I broke our contact and looked outside again. The sun had disappeared, and the sky was a deep, navy blue. Stars twinkled against the dark backdrop, but the moon was hidden behind misty clouds. I felt tired, which worried me since I had slept most of the day away. I supposed it was because I hadn't eaten in four days. My body was weakening, struggling to keep up the energy it took to live, and I worried about collapsing once I was off the train. It would do me some good to get something to eat. I didn't have much money left, having used most of it for travelling from Narita. Maybe I shouldn't keep hoarding money when I had enough and actually buy food.

When I opened my eyes, I was leaning against something soft and warm, but then a strand of blonde hair tickled my nose. I swatted it aside, hitting skin in the process. The man that I recalled to be Deidara complained and smacked my hand lightly.

"Huh?" I hadn't recalled falling asleep, and when I sat up, I realized quickly that I was no longer on the train.

Around me were old temples and cherry blossoms in mid-bloom. The area was empty though lit up by lanterns. The three of us were seated on a bench, but Sasori was already to his feet.

"We were just waiting for you to wake up. Deidara insisted we should let you sleep. We'll be heading to the hotel now," Sasori explained, anxious to get going.

"You didn't have to," I uselessly protested, hopping to my feet as well. I followed closely behind Sasori so that I didn't become even more of a burden, and I heard Deidara catch up as well. "But hold on. How'd I get here?"

"I carried you, un," Deidara answered, bored with my questions already. Probably because he knew more were coming.

"Why? How do you even know I'm the one—"

"We talked to our leader who confirmed it," Sasori answered before I could finish. "Hisoka Wakahisa. You're our new thief."


End file.
